The End is coming

I'm officially sick of being pregnant. I understand that I have to be careful in the way that I express that emotion, because I do have a number of dear friends who have a hard time holding onto babies or getting pregnant in the first place. So let me preface my complaints with this: I am so grateful for my healthy body that can do this so efficiently. I'm so excited to have my little girl. I'm glad to be a strong healthy woman.

Now let me gripe: Braxton Hicks Suck! I had them all day long yesterday - every five to ten minutes. Usually this would scare me into thinking I was in labor, but I've done this enough times now to know my body. This is just how the last couple weeks go. My muscles were contracting so much and for so long yesterday that I lost three pounds just from the exertion. I slept like a rock though.

Next item of gripage: my doctor looked at me and paused at our last appointment and pointedly asked me if I felt that this baby was bigger or smaller than the boys had been. I told him I felt bigger, even though I don't look it. I told him both the boys weighed in at 7 lbs even. He shook his head and said, "Oh, she's going to be bigger than that." It may have just been an off-handed comment to him, but I'm thoroughly freaked out. I'm sure he wasn't thinking about pushing that out of a 10 cm hole when he said it.

Last gripe for today: I need good distractions from wanting to go into labor now. Joshua came 9 days early. Andrew came16 days early. I can't seem to stop myself from hoping for a trend there - I'm constantly nagging myself with the though: maybe today....maybe tomorrow.... I just know with my luck and impatience I'll end up going til my due date. Even I admit it would serve me right. But distractions do help. Jon and Isaac have been visiting for the weekend - thank goodness. That keeps my mind off it a little.

Okay, I'm done griping. Now for the philosophical moment of the day: I honestly believe that love grows through sacrifice and service. The more you serve someone the deeper you learn to love them. Maybe this is why the love that a mother feels for her children can be the strongest known in this life short of our Savior's and Heavenly Father's love. I gripe about contractions, but when I feel that little foot nudging my hand my heart swells and I know I would do anything for the health and benefit of this child, just like I do every day for my other children. In this I find true joy. Sacrifice honestly does brings forth the blessings of heaven.