Poop

Today I would like to address the indelicate subject of poop. Upon entering the stage in my life termed "motherhood," I thought I had a general idea about what was expected of me in the area of poop. "Babies poop and Mommas change the diaper. Sometimes pee may escape said diaper and whole outfits may need to be changed." I was ready for that level of gross.

Now, eight years into the mothering adventure I have a whole new outlook on and relationship with poop. I had NO IDEA how involved I would get with the stuff. Case in point: when Joshua was only a couple months old he had a shooter poop just as I had his legs lifted to insert a new diaper under his bum. In our little trailer the sticky stuff sprayed all over the wall. I cleaned all day. Still, when we moved out of the trailer a year later I found remnants on the wall behind the crib. That was my first awakening. I try not to think about it too much, but on a day like this it really hits home how much of my job centers around poop.

I spent an hour today picking up a winters worth of dog poop in the yard with nothing but a plastic grocery bag between my fingers and the nasty.

I changed Caitlin's diapers. (I had to come back and insert this because it is such a routine thing, I almost forgot about it!)

I spent twenty minutes this evening rehearsing with Andrew just how to wipe his own bum after pooping. It's a skill he really has a mental block on.

I changed pee soaked sheets in the boys room, laundered and remade the beds.

I flushed a toilet that had been filled with ich and left to render.

And best of all, a surprise. Tonight I came down to relax in the living room after putting the kids to bed and found little brown nuggets on the rug. I picked them up with a prayer, "don't be poop... don't be poop" but with a quick whiff I heard my prayer answered "no such luck."

So there you have it. If someone poops in this house, I get to clean up the mess whether the mess is in the toilet or not. What a great perk of motherhood. I can't wait for these kids to have kids of their own so I can laugh with vengeful delight at their horror when poop ends up where it should not be!